I used to convince myself that am acting like this out of my free will, my own mind and thoughts leads to my own decisions and actions..

Lately after some experiences in life.. I had to make that stop and to reconsider every thought I ever had, to review every stand I ever took and to restudy every decision I ever made..

But how funny what I found!! No, its not funny anymore.. it was turning to be very sad!!

Am not willing to talk about that right now as much as I was thinking about the changes am feeling, about those questions am being asked every now and then from different people..

What's wrong with you?

What's giving you that strength?

Are you turning to be too independent?

Are you being aggressive? And the last question I heard yesterday was..

Are you turning to be destructive?!!?

Well, every single question of those took me a long time to answer it right to myself not the questioner, although I had the answer deep inside but I wanted to think it out slowly and reasonably..

I found out that Yes, I had things wrong with me but after all, they just led me to the right things I was looking for..

Yes am gaining strength day after day, not knowing exactly where from but some for sure are coming from some hands reached out to me and left me up but the rest was coming from my own hands I reached with to those helping people..

Yes am looking forward to be real independent not just by words and slogans but by deeds and decisions, on each and every level..

No am not being aggressive, I just decided to stand for myself, not to accept the less than what I expect and deserve, never to take anymore hurt in silence.. I decided to talk, shout and scream if that’s what it needs to make myself clear..

And finally, No am not being destructive cause I know exactly how bad it feels to suffer the inner destruction and I know as well that any destruction I'll make will hurt me first, I may be turning to be over defensive due to all what I've been through but I promised myself to handle that from deep inside, slowly maybe but steady for sure..

So for all of that I really have the feeling of saying thank you for everyone have ever hurt me, thank you for every hard situation I've been through, thank you for every pain I felt and experienced, thank you for every hand have reached out to me and left me up, thank you for every hand have pushed me down and provoked me to fight back my way up.. And thank you for every question that made me think and understand something about myself..

Thank you everyone for everything..